At 21

Today, I'm 21!

A big girl now with big grown-up shoes to fill, more responsibilities, yes but nevertheless, i'm still the girl with the flirtatious, passing affair with happiness. That profound sort of happiness when you taste the first sip of coffee in the morning, that warm-yet-lifting feeling that I feel it in my chest, my head and my soul and everything after that's just instantly chirpy. 

With the little things that make up my life; the little triumphs like learning how to work the washing machine, the size-varied mistakes I've made like using the semicolon for the wrong reasons, the amazing places I've been to and dream to visit one day, the Internet, the guys whom I had innocent crushes on, the girls whom I confided to for support, the best friends who always know when to call and when not to and of course, the massive love and upbringing my family has given me. All of these pretty much molded my 21 years of life and gosh, i am glad :) 

so who am I at 21? i've thought quite a lot about what to write on here and came up with a few things that i know i am at 21, or at least things i believe in now;

i’m someone who believes that unsolicited smiles by strangers are one of the most profound acts of kindness possible. 

as long as i'm doing what i love and something i truly believe in, i'd give my all

some take longer than some but feelings eventually do wear off, little by little. don't get too caught up on those feelings and really, live. do something. take a walk outside, go back to your devoted happy place, meet up with your closest buddies till you realise there is more to life than worrying and getting depressed over mere feelings.

there are more people who have your back than you realise. 

i'm someone who would rather have a few close friends than a bunch of friends whom our conversations are all in type.

the thing about life is that despite being really, really shitty for a really, really long time, it gets better. It really does.

it sometimes takes accomplishing a bunch of little things before being ready for the big crazy things. they are just as important though, and if you do them with the right attitude and an open heart, the big things will fall out eventually and surprise you in the most wonderful way possible.

say yes, yes and yes more often. forget the what ifs and embrace the what can be. say yes to a man's fumbling attempt of kindness because a man's pride is not to be messed with. say yes to hanging out with that friend you're not too close with. say yes to helping your friend proofread her paper because she might not have another year to resit. say yes to hugging that sweaty horizontally-challenged guy with a cardboard saying FREE  HUGS hung over his neck because it could make someone's day. say yes to opening up about your insecurities, because everybody has those too and there's nothing to be ashamed about.

the more you expect, the more disappointed you get. so it is best to keep expectations to the lowest and just hope for the best. 

i know how to appreciate some quiet lonely time. you need time for just you. don't go too long without it because you will burn out. rest and recharge.

it's okay to be open to all religions and beliefs. it just gives you more options to choose which is best for you, and not somebody else.

unexpected phone calls early in the morning or late at night generally upgrades the day to a good one

cooking > doing the dishes

never second-guess art. never stop writing, taking photographs, sketching, doodling, going for artsy events. because that makes you happy. although it makes you feel more creative and artsy than you actually are, but that's okay.

coffee is my drug. tea is a close alternative.

the secret to getting ahead is getting started. start the first paragraph and edit it after. go offline and read the first chapter and before you know it, you've got the sequel in your hands. 

travelling alone; in a bus, in a train or on a plane; to somewhere near or far can be one of the greatest moments you'll ever have, in an eye-opening simple kind of way. 

there are more people who are willing to help you than you know. sometimes, you just have to ask and let them in. not every stranger wants to rob you, you know?

i appreciate hearty laughs, and the sort of tears that are heavy yet very careening

indie-folk music and soundtracks are my jam. not everyone's but definitely mine.

some of life’s hardest battles and most important successes are private things, tread on lonely paths.

i'm beginning to like flowers but still have a love-hate relationship with bouquets. i'm quite fussy when it comes to wrapping my flowers; suffocating flower-wrapping to be exact. Because nature don't need frills or fancy paper to make it lovelier, nature is lovely in itself. Free.

i've grown into a woman who now appreciates makeup and have gone for a makeup workshop. if you told me this even a year ago, i would have laughed at you. wearing red lipstick and a dark liner makes me feel like a parisian artist who owns a photography studio and takes portraits for a living. the thing about makeup is i can be whoever i want to be but it does not define me as a person. i wear makeup for myself and not for anyone else.

write more postcards and send them to people who expects them and those who doesn't. everybody likes receiving old school mail and handwritten notes. 

you will inevitably get sick and feel light-headed if you don't get enough sleep.

first impressions are important but at the same time, dangerous.

accept love when you want to accept it, accept help when you can, and accept that it’ll be the second photo–the one you didn't plan for–that’ll give meaning to everything that comes after. 

you don't have to have cake on your birthday if you don't feel like it. have coffee, instead.

i'm thankful to be 21, and i smell a great year coming at me :)