Some Calm Amidst Chaos

Not too sure how to start but I think a simple hello works?

Hello.

It's funny to me how easy it was for me to have "To write at last 4 blogposts every month" written as one of my goals in the habit tracker section of my 2020 planner, and it is taking me a global pandemic (and a lot of courage) for me to actually log into Blogger and start stringing words together - coherent or not.  

It has been quite a roller-coaster ride these past few weeks in Malaysia and the world. We are living in such weird and unprecedented times. A month that's been both restless yet calm, solitary yet together; heading into a new normal and I've begun to slowly ease into a little routine. I feel like a little structure in this uncertainty helps, or at least it makes us feel like we have a bit more control over our lives, when control is probably what we have the least in the grander scheme of things. 

I wake up at around 8.30am and after snoozing my alarm clock a couple of times, I surrender into child's pose as my brain starts to piece together what day it is and whether it's a work day or not. I get dressed, head downstairs, and have breakfast with the day's NYT Morning Briefing newsletter and a cheeky little crossword - a combo that I hope I continue after this MCO is lifted as it keeps me informed but at the same time, it's nothing too overwhelming.

I plomp myself in front of my laptop and start work, answer emails, catch up with team mates, look out the window, have lunch, go on another concall and another, and before I know it it's 6pm and a whole workday has just gone by and I feel like I hardly did any real work. It can get quite depressing some days, but hey, at least I finished a crossword in 2 minutes and 9 seconds, right?

Reminiscing sunny walks around new neighbourhoods with new friends (TTDI, 2020)

I was re-reading the At the Front column of Monocle this afternoon and Tyler Brule wrote about him being mesmerized by one of his dinner companion's morning regime of waking up and going for a swim in the nearby lake every morning before heading to work. "There is a certain satisfaction that comes with walking into a morning meeting and knowing that you're the only person who went for a bracing dip. Somehow it elevates you," he said. There it was, Tyler wrote that here was the manifesto for gentler living and reconnecting with life's simple pleasures.

I reflected on how we (or at least some of my friends and I) feels like we're working more hours now that our offices are shut - concalls all day and execution work all night. And when we're not working, our eyes are always on a screen, consuming as much entertainment as we possibly can or taking a course on computer programming or museum curation. And before we know it, we're bored and burned out and the cycle continues.

It's quite hard to find inspiration especially when we're all in the eye of the storm, but I try to tell myself it's really about perspective. I am counting my blessings - grateful for being able to stay at home, rest, read, with food on the table and with people I love close to me. I'm grateful for  the frontliners who are risking their lives everyday. I'm grateful for those moments when the doorbell rings and everybody's excited for a parcel. The free plays and shows streaming on Youtube. The return of my favourite podcast ever, The High Low, and discovering new favourite ones like this one about the search for a missing hit, this one about homecooking and this one that's all theatre banter for the theatre junkie. The influx of IG Live sessions that are oh-so-entertaining and informative. And I think most of all, I'm grateful that technology has enabled us to interact and connect with friends and family.  

I think the goal for me here is to find my groove in this new normal and be the master of technology, communication and newsflow instead of the other way round, as it's easy to be sucked into the internet warp and lose touch of the life that is around us.

Life has taken on a funny shape, one day melting into another. And until we find ourselves on the other side of this storm, I'm hoping for the best and will continue trying to beat my own score at crosswords. 

How are you doing? ❤️