WARNING: this is strictly a PG12 post.
Here is a little snippet of a lil of what i wrote in my laptop yesterday when most the class was at raptai and Naomi had to 'abandon' me that particular day. Rarr. Why its just a snippet? Well, the rest of my writings are mostly a one-letter word which rhymes really well with Cluck. lol
20/06/2011 12.30pm Class
Oh God, help me. Give me some peace and quiet.
Here I am, in class. With no friends, no teachers, no person to talk to except these annoying bitches speaking to themselves in another fucking language. I don’t even know what the fuck they’re talking about and i hate it. Being an outspoken person i am and a person who is all out on One Malaysia, damn those people! I mean, it is so not their fault that they are talking in the language they are familiar in. I mean, it’s totally fine. It is their mouth anyway. They have a right to move it whenever they want and its their problem if want to talk about stuff in their mother-tongue. Just don’t fucking do it in front of people from a different race, for goodness sake! It is sooooo damn rude and ignorant of them. To hell with them. Crap suckers! Maybe I’m just too sensitive, perhaps? Given that I’m the only non-(thier race) here right now. The others are either involved in the raptai or in the 1Malaysia dance. Which! You might find it strange that I’m not involved in any of that stuff. Guess life’s different now. In a new element, i guess. Nobody knows who the fuck i am and they don’t care. Oh shit, just remembered there’s this NIE thing we’re suppose to do. And no one takes it seriously except of course, the gang – Gup, Nay and I. What the heck is wrong with the world? Okay, I’m going to totally contradict myself right now by saying: Charmaine, it is never the wrong of others, but the way you yourself see things in a different perspective. Sigh, I guess I’d like to think that. Fuck.
Damn, my battery’s about to be dead in a few minutes.
Fuck my life.
20/06/2011 2.10pm ClassOkay, this would be my first gloomy day since forever. A few hours ago, Pn Florence asked me to get the History Soalan Ramalan books from her. I said yes and i totally forgotten about. And here I was, playing hangman with Gurpreet and the others, laughing away like some freaky hyena. I have no intentions or whatsoever to ignore her comment but I just plain forgotten!! Sighhhhh i am sooooooo fucking disappointed and annoyed by myself. Whoa, check that: Charmaine being annoyed by her. Very rare situation from the public eye huh? She seems so damn confident about everything that she just turns into this humble-say-yes-to-everything freak. I think i have the pleasing disease like that sad-looking Dalmatian in Seventeen. Damn. Of course, teacher was a lil bit upset with me, with her sarcastic remarks. I on the other hand looked like i was transparent to her comments padahal i was hurt and super disappointed with myself, inside. Deep inside. I guess I’m just not great in showing my pain or what I’m going through. Whoa, check that as well! Charmaine, being insecure and inexpressive about things. Sigh, I realise I’ve been sighing a whole lot more than usual these few days. Feeling suckish towards everything life throws me is plain suckish. Damn, not able to describe how i feel in other adjectives other than suckish is suckish. Argh! And Pn Flo just nominated me to be emcee on sports day. Wow, again i’m going to turn it down again due to the fear of disappointing people, i guess. When Pn Florence said she knew about mum being a bm teacher, I was like shit. Great! Now my cover has been blown and I’m out for auction for any jobs available.
Fuck my life.
God, help me go through life in school.
Please bless me with peace and tranquillity, God.
God, I need you now more than ever.
Please walk with me through this winding road, God.
...
Sigh, thank goodness today was back to normal and everything was good. Naomi's nose came back from running today and we talked and talked and talked. Just talking talkin talking ! =)
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